Fervor

I love people watching. So while at Starbucks yesterday I was fascinated by the store manager's conversations. She gave wonderful directions to a lost man and gave great cold beverage recommendations that saves me a dollar each time a need a caffeine fix this summer.

Something that particularly interested me was the conversation she was having with a young girl who was handing in a job application. First of all, I was surprised that the girl was not applying on her own and had her mother along with her. Secondly, Mom did most of the talking when the manager explained that they don't usually hire high school students due to the demands of the job. I have my own ideas of what I wish for for my kids and I don't think holding their hands while they apply for a job is one of them. If I were in her green apron, would I be swayed by a mother's pleas that the daughter, who wasn't able to fill out a standard application independently, is ready for the demands of a part time job? I doubt it. But I was hurt when C said he could see me doing the same thing. I argue that if I have to go in with my teen they are not ready for the responsibility. Where does the hand holding end?

Encouraging kids to get jobs, big or small not only gives them responsibility but goals to accomplish and skills they can master. And the money is nice bonus. E has had his paper route three times a week for two years now. It doesn't pay well but it does give him some cash of his own. He also referees a few soccer games a week. Perhaps I feel a little defensive on the subject he has handled the new responsibilities quite well- C, you can remind me of those words- but like all life skills learned he does require some coaching.

Am I contradicitng myself yet? The boundaries seem clear in my own mind. The lines however are far too easy to cross and the temptation to micromanage is fierce. Black newsprint smudges on my walls, nagging to check email for game assignments, arguments over the most efficient way to get things done are all too common around here but the job does get done. And while it may not be exactly how i would do it or like to see it done, we do see the rewards when he struts in after a game in which he has had to deal with difficult coaches. He is growing from it in more ways than are clear to either of us right now.

Before I went on this tangent, now a post in itself, I was going to write about money management. I know I spent way too much money as a teen at the convenience store up the street. I don't remember my parents shaking their heads when I brought home another teen magazine-although they must have. Lessons learned through responsibility and money management are character building. And I am eating my words as I type. I am letting go of the frustrations I have while coaching him in these lessons that are life. So what if he has to spend what he has earned on countless whistles because he carelessly left them behind. So what if every penny he makes this summer is wasted in my mind, it could be worthwhile for him or a worthwhile lesson to waste. I need to remind myself to back off and be proud as long his experience gives him a sense of confidence and self-worth. So will I be there with him when he applies for his first part time job? Absolutely not. I will however be there to encourage him to take the next step and build on his experiences. (I cannot promise I won't wish it was done my way though)