Fervor

Last week I wrote a post that I never ended up, well, posting. The gist of it was how for the first time in while I am, for lack of a better word, content. I am after one year really happy with our decision to move, and happy with how it has impacted our lives, the changes we have all been forced to make for the better. For once no second guessing or questioning a single thing in my life. Not having thoughts of "what if" that somehow seemed to be there for so long. I was content.

Then comes a letter.

In the year 2000 I received a scholarship. I was going into my second year of Culinary School and had everything ahead of me. I applied for the scholarship and easily got glowing recommendations from Chef Professors (I still have the application that I sent in- I am such a pack rat!) The best part of receiving the scholarship was the student awards ceremony and reception held in Toronto. The ceremony and photo shoot afterwards weren't too exciting but the reception held afterwards was amazing! It was like nothing C and I had ever been to. Far better than any of the stuffy Holiday Parties we had gone to. The "Foundation Ball" was a black tie event held in a much bigger ball room than we had ever seen. It was a fundraising event for the foundation who raised $169,000 at the ball the year before.

The Jungle fever theme blew us away. As we approached the area, African Drummers could be heard through out the lobby of the hotel and the sound grew louder and more intense as we got closer to the registration area, two floors below. The theme was apparent everywhere we looked from the vibrant table coverings to the animal print balloons purchased at $5 each. The mood was complimented by the music, the decorations and 'pop' of each balloon which revealed a prize inside valued at much more than $5. C and I each got one because it was such a fun idea but I can't for the life be remember what we brought home. The menu was fantastic and of course also in theme. Tanzanian flat breads, Mozambique Prawns with Orange Melon and Celery Root Salad, Peanut and Okra Soup, Papaya Sorbet with Mango Slaw, Filet of Botswana Beef with Stewed Yams, Lemon Peppered CousCous and Kenyan Beans, for dessert Cocoa Bean and Banana Pudding and Kenyan Coffee. There was a huge live and silent auction and since it was an event for the hospitality industry, lots of booze being poured to promote products to the industry. We had a fantastic time and obviously not an event to be forgotten.

So this letter comes to me letting me know that the foundation would like to "celebrate and profile the achievements" of past scholarship recipients during their annual ball this year and I have a survey to complete. I usually am more than eager to fill out surveys (just a thing I have) but I dread this one. I know in my heart that I have achieved some great things but how hard it is to fill out a form saying that I am now a stay at home mom that does nothing with the education you helped pay for! I feel I may be better off writing a letter rather than filling out this form.

I still have dreams of doing something something with it in the future. I love the industry and I love cooking I just don't feel I need to at this very moment. Three months ago I had visions of starting a home business (once again) and I am sure that will come and go many times before I grow the balls to actually get it off the ground (see, with language like that, I need to get back into it at some point) But in what capacity that will be I don't know. A Bed and Breakfast? A small bake shop? For now I will use my willing family as guinea pigs each time I need to try something new. I desperately feel a need to cook. A lot. Anyone want to come for dinner?